I know all those people. I have friendly, social, and criminal relations with the whole lot of them.
~ Mark Twain - [Taxes and Taxation]

To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler and less trouble.
~ Mark Twain - [Teachers and Teaching]

It is easier to stay out than get out.
~ Mark Twain - [Temptation]

There was never a century nor a country that was short of experts who knew the Deity's mind and were willing to reveal it.
~ Mark Twain - [Theology]

Man is the only creature who has a nasty mind.
~ Mark Twain - [Thoughts and Thinking]

We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks, if we agree with him.
~ Mark Twain - [Thoughts and Thinking]

A man can seldom -- very, very, seldom -- fight a winning fight against his training; the odds are too heavy.
~ Mark Twain - [Training]

Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing, but cabbage with a college education.
~ Mark Twain - [Training]

I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.
~ Mark Twain - [Travel and Tourism]

You perceive I generalize with intrepidity from single instances. It is the tourist's custom.
~ Mark Twain - [Travel and Tourism]

A joke, even if it be a lame one, is nowhere so keenly relished or quickly applauded as in a murder trial.
~ Mark Twain - [Trials]

I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
~ Mark Twain - [Trials]

I never could tell a lie that anybody would doubt, nor a truth that anybody would believe.
~ Mark Twain - [Truth]

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
~ Mark Twain - [Truth]

Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
~ Mark Twain - [Truth]

No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies.
~ Mark Twain - [Truth]

Often the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth.
~ Mark Twain - [Truth]

Truth is neither alive nor dead; it just aggravates itself all the time.
~ Mark Twain - [Truth]

Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.
~ Mark Twain - [Truth]

There are no grades of vanity, there are only grades of ability in concealing it.
~ Mark Twain - [Vanity]