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The Book of Famous Quotes: The Complete Collection

 :: 1880-1956, American Editor, Author, Critic, Humorist

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Self-respect: the secure feeling that no one, as yet, is suspicious.
~ H. L. Mencken - [Self-respect]

 

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The fact that I have no remedy for all the sorrows of the world is no reason for my accepting yours. It simply supports the strong probability that yours is a fake.
~ H. L. Mencken - [Solutions]

 

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Before a man speaks, it is always safe to assume that he is a fool. After he speaks it is seldom necessary to assume.
~ H. L. Mencken - [Speakers and Speaking]

 

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How little it takes to make life unbearable: a pebble in the shoe, a cockroach in the spaghetti, a woman's laugh.
~ H. L. Mencken - [Suffering]

 

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Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.
~ H. L. Mencken - [Taxes and Taxation]

 

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The truth is that the average schoolmaster, on all the lower levels, is and always must be essentially and next door to an idiot, for how can one imagine an intelligent man engaging in so puerile an avocation?
~ H. L. Mencken - [Teachers and Teaching]

 

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Temptation is a woman's weapon and man's excuse.
~ H. L. Mencken - [Temptation]

 

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Theology is the effort to explain the unknowable in terms of the not worth knowing.
~ H. L. Mencken - [Theology]

 

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Time stays, we go.
~ H. L. Mencken - [Time and Time Management]

 

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If women believed in their husbands they would be a good deal happier and also a good deal more foolish.
~ H. L. Mencken - [Trust]

 

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I believe that it is better to tell the truth than a lie. I believe it is better to be free than to be a slave. And I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant.
~ H. L. Mencken - [Truth]

 

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It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.
~ H. L. Mencken - [Truth]

 

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Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good.
~ H. L. Mencken - [Voting]

 

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War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands.
~ H. L. Mencken - [War]

 

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Whenever you hear a man speak of his love for his country, it is a sign that he expects to be paid for it.
~ H. L. Mencken - [Patriotism]

 

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Philosophy consists very largely of one philosopher arguing that all others are jackasses. He usually proves it, and I should add that he also usually proves that he is one himself.
~ H. L. Mencken - [Philosophers and Philosophy]

 

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There is no record in history of a happy philosopher.
~ H. L. Mencken - [Philosophers and Philosophy]

 

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The average man does not get pleasure out of an idea because he thinks it is true; he thinks it is true because he gets pleasure out of it.
~ H. L. Mencken - [Pleasure]

 

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Women have simple tastes. They get pleasure out of the conversation of children in arms and men in love.
~ H. L. Mencken - [Pleasure]

 

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A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.
~ H. L. Mencken - [Politicians and Politics]

 

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