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The Book of Famous Quotes: The Complete Collection

 :: 1908-, British Author

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Keeping up with the Joneses was a full-time job with my mother and father. It was not until many years later when I lived alone that I realized how much cheaper it was to drag the Joneses down to my level.
~ Quentin Crisp - [Neighbors]

 

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In an expanding universe, time is on the side of the outcast. Those who once inhabited the suburbs of human contempt find that without changing their address they eventually live in the metropolis.
~ Quentin Crisp - [Outcasts]

 

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My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it.
~ Quentin Crisp - [Parents and Parenting]

 

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This woman did not fly to extremes; she lived there.
~ Quentin Crisp - [Extremes and Extremists]

 

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If Mr. Vincent Price were to be co-starred with Miss Bette Davis in a story by Mr. Edgar Allan Poe directed by Mr. Roger Corman, it could not fully express the pent-up violence and depravity of a single day in the life of the average family.
~ Quentin Crisp - [Family]

 

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Is not the whole world a vast house of assignation of which the filing system has been lost?
~ Quentin Crisp - [Flirting]

 

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The consuming desire of most human beings is deliberately to plant their whole life in the hands of some other person. I would describe this method of searching for happiness as immature. Development of character consists solely in moving toward self-sufficiency.
~ Quentin Crisp - [Control]

 

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Whenever we confront an unbridled desire we are surely in the presence of a tragedy-in-the-making.
~ Quentin Crisp - [Desire]

 

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Nothing more rapidly inclines a person to go into a monastery than reading a book on etiquette. There are so many trivial ways in which it is possible to commit some social sin.
~ Quentin Crisp - [Etiquette]

 

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Life is a game in which the rules are constantly changing; nothing spoils a game more than those who take it seriously. Adultery? Phooey! You should never subjugate yourself to another nor seek the subjugation of someone else to yourself. If you follow that Crispian principle you will be able to say ''Phooey,'' too, instead of reaching for your gun when you fancy yourself betrayed.
~ Quentin Crisp - [Adultery]

 

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When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?''
~ Quentin Crisp - [Atheism]

 

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An autobiography is an obituary in serial form with the last installment missing.
~ Quentin Crisp - [Autobiography]

 

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Though intelligence is powerless to modify character, it is a dab hand at finding euphemisms for its weaknesses.
~ Quentin Crisp - [Character]

 

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If you describe things as better than they are, you are considered to be a romantic; if you describe things as worse than they are, you will be called a realist; and if you describe things exactly as they are, you will be thought of as a satirist.
~ Quentin Crisp - [Writers and Writing]

 

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The young always have the same problem -- how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another.
~ Quentin Crisp - [Youth]

 

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