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The Book of Famous Quotes: The Complete Collection

 :: 1935-, American Director, Screenwriter, Actor, Comedian

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A ''Bay Area Bisexual'' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
~ Woody Allen - [Sex]

 

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Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
~ Woody Allen - [Sex]

 

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If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
~ Woody Allen - [Skepticism]

 

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Eighty percent of success is showing up.
~ Woody Allen - [Success]

 

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It shows exactly what you can do if you're a total psychotic.
~ Woody Allen - [Possibilities]

 

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Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime.
~ Woody Allen - [Punishment]

 

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Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
~ Woody Allen - [Reason]

 

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My one regret in life is that I'm not someone else.
~ Woody Allen - [Regret]

 

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A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
~ Woody Allen - [Relationships]

 

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If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.
~ Woody Allen - [Risk]

 

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Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought -- particularly for people who can never
~ Woody Allen - [Science and Scientists]

 

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I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.
~ Woody Allen - [Intelligence and Intellectuals]

 

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Life is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.
~ Woody Allen - [Life and Living]

 

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I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
~ Woody Allen - [Love]

 

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Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
~ Woody Allen - [Love]

 

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Marriage is the death of hope.
~ Woody Allen - [Marriage]

 

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The lion and the calf will lay down together, but the calf won't get much sleep..
~ Woody Allen - [Marriage]

 

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Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she would come in and sink my boats.
~ Woody Allen - [Maturity]

 

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I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year for cheating on my metaphysics final. You know, I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
~ Woody Allen - [Metaphysics]

 

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Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
~ Woody Allen - [Money]

 

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